Personal Riverside Buckinghamshire Wedding – Budget-Friendly
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Oh, how I love the riverside Buckinghamshire wedding of Emma and Joost. Their day really had it all, buckets of personality (like the books and video game touches), stunning outfits and lots of lovely DIY decor.
In fact, their whole day came in at a budget-friendly £10K, which you just won’t believe when you check out their story below. From the personal ceremony beside the river to the pretty blooms, cake and origami, this wedding was so fun and special.
It’s also great to hear that WWW wedding supplier Tailored Entertainment provided the brilliant band for an evening of dancing.
Sasha Weddings I can’t thank you enough for sharing these utterly dreamy images with us.
Riverside Buckinghamshire Wedding
The Proposal
The day before we were meant to go away for a week’s surfing, Joost badly sprained his ankle in a football match. He was distraught because he had been planning a romantic proposal in front of the ocean and now had to figure out how he could go down on one knee whilst being on crutches.
In the end, everything worked out well – he found a secluded cove on a beautiful beach…and I was the only one who nearly fell over.
The Vision
The most important thing was that we didn’t want to be constrained by other people’s expectations and by arbitrary standards. We don’t care much about tradition and wanted to strip away all the formalities that felt inauthentic and replace them with things that were meaningful to us.
We made a lot of decisions following our intuition and tried not to overthink things. The end result was Wind in the Willows, geeky, thrifted, folksy, homemade, cottagecore aesthetic with a punk band and a mosh pit.
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Budget
£10,000
The Venue
At a private home in Bourne End by the river.
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Your Outfits
Lockdown meant that the first bridal appointment I could make was less than six months before the wedding. I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to find ‘The Dress’ in a relatively short time window, but luckily there was one I liked in the first place I went to – Burr Bridal in Cambridge.
There is a lot of pressure to choose the perfect dress, so in a way, I was glad that I didn’t have endless time and opportunities to try on hundreds of dresses. I think I tried on about 15 dresses in total. They were all beautiful, but some of them made me feel like a mannequin or a clothes hanger – the dress was wearing me.
When all the options are lovely, you have to come up with another rationale as to why you’ve selected one over the other, so I told myself that my dress needed to be appropriate for a garden wedding. The one I chose was from Essense of Australia and had leaves and petals embroidered on it, which made me think of woodland fairies.
I had fourteen bridesmaids and I let them wear any dress they wanted as long as it vaguely matched the sage/teal/lilac colour palette. They coordinated amazingly well, and most of them were able to wear dresses they already owned so that they didn’t have to spend any money.
Joost doesn’t know or care about clothes at all, so it was easy to find a suit that he was happy with. I think he looks gorgeous in anything, but the grey/blue combination he chose looked so good on him. Again, he got it in the first and only shop we tried, and he’ll get lots of use out of it at future events.
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The Ceremony & Music
Due to Covid, we could only have 8 friends at our official ceremony at the registry office in Ely. Everyone wore masks and had to be sat two meters away from each other in a circle, with Joost and me in the middle. It looked like the set-up for filming a hostage video.
I had planned to wear a white dress that I already owned for this event, but on the way from our flat to the train station it ripped from knee to crotch. I sent a whatsapp message to the friends who were attending the ceremony asking if anyone had a spare white dress, and luckily someone had a white, silk shift dress in my size.
It was hilarious and also – in a strange way – a huge relief to have something go so badly ‘wrong’ (you could literally see my knickers and belly) and to realise that it didn’t matter at all.
For our actual wedding, Emma’s mother was the celebrant. She is so funny and charismatic so she did a fantastic job. It meant so much to have her personalise the ceremony. She involved Emma’s Grandmother and Joost’s father in the proceedings so that they could share childhood memories, and give us personalised advice and their unique blessings.
Emma’s dad and stepmum walked her up the aisle. The bridesmaids walked up to High Tide or Low Tide by Bob Marley & The Wailers Emma walked to Pachelbel’s Canon in D. We walked back down the aisle to Pass that Dutch by Missy Elliott.
We listened to hundreds of wedding bands on several management websites and I didn’t really feel a connection to any of them – they were all either ‘Mumford and Sons Lite’ (and I don’t even like the original Mumford and Sons, step away from the banjo) or were like church choirs who had recently discovered a Now 54 noughties club classics CD.
But then we saw a promo video for a band called ‘Freshman Year’. Their repertoire consisted of Paramore, Sum 41, Blink 182, Greenday, Offspring, Nirvana, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Bowling for Soup. These were the bands that we were both obsessed with when we were in secondary school and so the songs were really nostalgic.
Joost was a bit worried that they wouldn’t be a ‘crowd-pleaser’ because they were too ‘niche’, but everyone thought they were brilliant. We even had a mosh pit going at one point (which was surreal to be part of whilst wearing a wedding dress). Even my Grandma was dancing until the very end (although she had deliberately removed her hearing aids).
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Your Photographer
@sasha_weddings – Sasha did a brilliant job with the photographs, capturing the carefree, spontaneous mood of the event.
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The Styling & Decor
Our cake was made by our multitalented friend Elly (@nutmegs_seven) – check out her Instagram and food blog!
The flowers were from my step-grandmother’s garden and arranged by my step mother and family friend, Gemma. In September there weren’t that many flowers in bloom, but – as with so many other aspects of the wedding – having a set of constraints actually reduced anxiety.
In the end, I bought eight pink roses from the garden centre to add to my bouquet (I had wanted white, but they didn’t have any in stock that morning – I’m so glad I got pink instead as it added the perfect amount of colour!). I love that my step-grandma thought to add some long pieces of willow to the bouquet to match the tree at the end of the garden.
All our decorations were homemade. Instead of floral decorations on the tables, we collected stacks of old books, which we tied up with parcel ribbon and decorated with moss and ivy. In keeping with the bookish theme, my stepmother made bunting from the pages of old books and I made origami swans and butterflies from old books.
I think I must have made about 5,000 of them, but it was comforting in the weeks leading up to the wedding to have something to do in the evenings. My grandma and I made confetti from old books by using a heart-shaped hole punch.
Spray painted wooden pallets to make a welcome sign and added some greenery and gourds to give it a rustic feel.
The seating plan was arranged according to the names of videogames we had played together. It was a lot of fun choosing who would sit where and one of the most magical things about the day was seeing friends from different parts of our lives meet and form new friendships.
We didn’t invite any guests out of a sense of duty – it was only immediate family and then our close friends and this meant there were no ‘bad’ seats.
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The Honeymoon
We went to Sao Miguel, which is the largest island of the Azores. We knew nothing about it and booked some extremely cheap Ryan Air tickets there a few weeks before. It was absolutely wonderful. We were really off-season, so we felt like we had everything to ourselves.
It’s a volcanic island, so it is filled with hot springs that make huge, natural, bubbling jacuzzis. There are gorgeous hikes that aren’t too difficult but that reward you with the most incredible views over the lakes and mountains.
We went surfing (Joost had full use of his ankle this time!) and we stayed in a place called Santa Barbara Ecolodge, which we would really recommend. The staff made a big fuss of us and the rooms were really stylish and comfortable.
Our highlights were exploring an abandoned luxury hotel that had been empty since the 80s and visiting the town of Furnas where we ate traditional food that had been cooked using the heat of a caldeira and hung out in a gorgeous colonial botanic garden where you were encouraged to swim in the fountain.
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Memorable Moments
I think the speeches were the most significant moment for me. My Dad, my sister, and Joost’s two best friends gave such beautiful, heartfelt speeches, whilst also making everyone choke with laughter.
Otherwise, it was just the joy of seeing everyone we love in one room. Especially having been separated for so long by covid, it felt like a dream to see friends from all over the world and from such different parts of our lives drinking, dancing, and celebrating all together.
I also organised an ‘ice breaker’ game for all the guests, so on the back of their name cards was a weird or whacky fact about another guest who they hadn’t met before. The aim of the game was to find that other person and swap facts (the other person had a fact about you).
I paired up people who I thought would have interesting conversations and used the facts to steer them towards what it was they had in common. This was such a great way to get people to break out of their groups and interact with new people, and it made sure that Joost’s friends from the Netherlands mingled with my friends from home.
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Advice For Other Couples
Planning can be fun, but trying to control every small detail is a waste of energy. Just focus on whatever is most important to you. Ask yourself, ‘are we doing this thing because it is expected and ‘the done thing’ or are we genuinely excited about this aspect?’
Make up your own roles. Things can get petty and political (especially if you have step-family or big friendship groups) regarding who is given which ‘important role’. I know it was unconventional, but I wanted to have all my close female friends as bridesmaids.
I didn’t want to pick and choose an ‘in group’ and an ‘out group’ because I love them all. The main reason not to have lots of bridesmaids is the cost…but it was so good to just let my bridesmaids wear dresses that they already owned – everyone was wearing a dress that suited them and that they felt beautiful in.
Since we did all the decorating and set up ourselves, I felt so lucky to have a whole army of bridesmaids. They turned up on the morning of the wedding to find me still not showered trying to vacuum the downstairs room where the tables were going to be, and they took over everything – dusting, moving chairs, tying gold ribbons on railings, basically, they were a dream team. They also loved getting to know each other and new friendships were made.
Wow, so special.
Emma and Joost thank you so much for sharing your incredible riverside Buckinghamshire wedding story.
Further Reading
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